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~hipster humor heaven~

Manwhore + Gagasaurus = THE FAME MONSTERS
We're so indie, we haven't even started making music yet.
This is the funny shit we say.
May 3 '12
richwhitelesbian:

cool-tweets:

submitted by @weedhitler

god

richwhitelesbian:

cool-tweets:

submitted by @weedhitler

god

(Source: cl-tw)

May 1 '12
  • Lesbian: hey i just met you
  • Lesbian: and this is crazy
  • Lesbian: but i think we should cohabitate, my u-haul is parked out back, how do you feel about cats i really love tabby's i have two we're a little family looking for our missing piece we should get a dog let's re-do the kitchen all zen-like whaddya say....baby?
  • Other lesbian: *gets in u-haul and they drive off into the sunset together to live in perfect harmony for two weeks*
Apr 18 '12
"Before internet, we had to communicate with our mouths."
Mar 28 '12

She insists that I try to make her a lezzie so I can get all the guys, but I swear it’s not true~/A convincing rebuttal from Gagasaurus

Gagasaurus: ugh. feels. thank the Lord i threw those out ages ago 
me: you’re lucky
  i tried taking your advice but for some reason
  not every part of my soul dies
  there’s just one small resilient piece left
  and it’s a pesky cunt 
Gagasaurus: then listen to rick santorum and his policies for an hour nonstop
  that shoukd kill it
  *should 
me: or i kill myself, which i guess counts? 
Gagasaurus: i mean, souls kinda exist after death
  it’s their thing
  ya gotta nip them in the bud while you’re still living
me: you’re right. guess i’m off to watch rick santorum videos for the next few
hours, just to make sure i get it right
  if i become a vegetable, tell the doctors they can pull the plug
  and you can have some of my flannel shirts
  so that even in my death
  i can still try to make you a lezzie

ACTUALLY

Manwhore: you’re right. guess i’m off to watch rick santorum videos for the next few hours, just to make sure i get it right

if i become a vegetable, tell the doctors they can pull the plug  

and you can have some of my flannel shirts  

so that even in my death  

i can still try to make you a lezzie

me: flannel does not make one a lezzie 

Manwhore: uh, yeah  

me: listen, i highly doubt a flannel shirt will suddenly make me like vagina 

i promise you just want me to go lez so you can have all the men to yourself

Manwhore: uh, duh? 

me: now i have to write a book

"the gay agenda uncovered"

Manwhore: and it’ll make millions

you’re welcome

Mar 24 '12

sh4ne:

No pH meter is necessary. This is definitely a basic bitch we’re dealing with.

Mar 13 '12
Mar 13 '12

I would make a fantastic girlfriend. Seriously. (AKA: My response to the front man of Wild Beasts)

me: who is he, and why isn’t he fathering my children?
Manwhore: idk girl that’s something you’ll have to take up with him
me: “uhm, excuse me. who are you, and why aren’t your sperm cells racing to my ovum?”
Manwhore: “uh…what?”
"who are you and why are you in my house?"
me: “listen, that doesn’t matter right now.”
"all that we should be concerned about is how many people we’re inviting to the wedding."
Manwhore: “…I’m going to call the cops”
me: “go ahead. not even prison can keep my love from reaching you.”
Manwhore: “what’s your name again? I think I might need a restraining order too”
me: “my name doesn’t matter unless your last name is attached to it?”
Manwhore: at this point in time, the cops have shown up and they’re dragging you away in handcuffs
me: but before that, i peed on his leg, marking him as mine so i could find him when I get out in 10 to 15
Manwhore: omg

Mar 10 '12

Am I Gay?: A Journey of Self Discovery with Shang.

afternoonsnoozebutton:

twelve-jammy-badgers:

Well this was pretty perfect.

(Source: danascullys)

Mar 10 '12
gvven:

why is this so funnyasdkljfsd

gvven:

why is this so funnyasdkljfsd

Mar 3 '12

skywordsword:

the 80s will always be 20 years ago